My Kid Is Getting Picked On At School

My kid is getting picked on at school.

Kids can be mean. Sometimes, though, it’s not what you think.

When you talk to your child, make sure you get the whole story.

“No one will play with me.” This is a common complaint especially with children aged six through nine, when more than two children are involved.

Often, they just haven’t learned to manage more than one friend at a time, so they get caught up in, “If you’re her friend, then you can’t be my friend.” This is not necessarily bullying. This is probably a misunderstanding. Your child may not be getting picked on or targeted.

Sadly, they are being excluded, but there is a remedy for that.

Since it’s not likely you can coach all three children (unless you’re the teacher or caregiver), you can work with your own child individually by offering some suggestions:

• The simplest answer is play by yourself. Model independence by thinking these words out loud for your child. “If someone was mean to me, then I would just go play with somebody else, or play by myself.”
• Make sure your child understands what’s happening. It might not be that they don’t want to play with you – it might be that they don’t want to play the game you want to play. Sometimes you have to play the games your friends want to play if you want to be included.
• Finally, help you child problem-solve with the group. Have them say, “I want to play with you. What can I do?”

It can be as simple as that.