Consequences, positive (reward) or negative (penalty) should make sense.

When consequences make sense, children are more accepting of them.

Cooperation is more likely when there is an understanding between the behavior and the consequence and also when the consequence is explained ahead of time.

In my classroom, I have a box of pencils. Most are sharpened, few have erasers. They are plain yellow. If a child forgets a pencil during homework time, they may use one of mine. This is a mild consequence but very effective, because they don’t really want to use them. Plus, I think forgetting your pencil is a minor offense.

I also have a cup of brand new “fancy” pencils with fun erasers. These I dole out to people who always have their supplies (a reward for good behavior).

The key is to have your consequences thought up ahead of time and give yourself permission to use them! If I say, forgetting your homework equals
one day without your phone (so you can focus) then I need to mean that. I am careful not to give consequences in the heat of the moment so I don’t end up saying something like, “You’re grounded forever!” Which we both know I will never follow through with.

Also, having consequences set ahead of time keep the consequence linked with the behavior and not the person. In fact, the best consequences can come from the child. “It is important to do your homework so that you can graduate to the next grade. If you do not do the homework, what should the consequence be?” Of course, this has to be a discussion for another time – not in the middle of the act.