The average American child spends about seven hours a day in front of a screen. It is no wonder we are losing our social skills. Parents, you are doing it too!
At the dojo, I see parents on their phones the whole time their child is in class. I get it, you’re busy, but your child needs to see you, seeing them.
For many of us, the most time we spend engaging with our child is the drive to and from school. We may ask about their day, but our eyes are on the road.
One comment I hear often when I tell a parent something about their child’s day, they say, “I can’t believe they told you that. When I ask about my child’s day, all I ever get is fine.”
The secret? How are you asking? I stop what I’m doing and look in a child’s
eyes. Then I ask my question. No distraction. If I get an abbreviated answer, I ask for more information. Even leading them through the day hour by hour if that’s what it takes.
Eventually, this becomes a pattern, and the child will offer more complete conversations on their own. It’s what we used to do when we ate dinner together when I was a child. No phones, no TV, just conversation. It doesn’t take as long as you think, and frankly if you can’t find ten or twenty minutes in your day to give your child your full attention, then you need to rethink your parenting choice!
By the way, this also works amazingly well with your spouse/partner. Something to consider…if you aren’t giving them your attention, someone else will.
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