{"id":81,"date":"2025-05-19T23:18:09","date_gmt":"2025-05-19T23:18:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ldkparentingfoundation.org\/?p=81"},"modified":"2025-05-19T23:18:09","modified_gmt":"2025-05-19T23:18:09","slug":"stop-telling-me-how-to-feel","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ldkparentingfoundation.org\/?p=81","title":{"rendered":"Stop Telling Me How To Feel!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>In Kathryn Kvols book, \u201cRedirecting Children\u2019s Behavior,\u201d<br>she addressed the difference between feeling stoppers and feeling encouragers. She goes on to say that \u201cfeelings forced underground can cause misbehavior.\u201d I agree.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"538\" src=\"https:\/\/ldkparentingfoundation.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/LDK-dont-tell-me-how-to-feel-1024x538.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-83\" srcset=\"https:\/\/ldkparentingfoundation.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/LDK-dont-tell-me-how-to-feel-1024x538.png 1024w, https:\/\/ldkparentingfoundation.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/LDK-dont-tell-me-how-to-feel-300x158.png 300w, https:\/\/ldkparentingfoundation.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/LDK-dont-tell-me-how-to-feel-768x403.png 768w, https:\/\/ldkparentingfoundation.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/LDK-dont-tell-me-how-to-feel.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><br>When I have to address a disagreement about a toy, it is usually less helpful for me to say something like this, \u201cWe don\u2019t cry just because someone takes a toy.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In truth, we might cry over that, it depends. It would be better to say something like this, \u201cYou seem frustrated (or sad).\u201d Then wait for a response. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This allows the child to think about how they are feeling. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Maybe it has just been a bad day and this is part of multiple negative<br>interactions. Maybe it\u2019s more simple. I had it, now she has it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Whichever it is, affirm the feeling first, then you can move on to what to do with big feelings or simply modeling problem solving skills, if needed. I might say, \u201cWhen I\u2019m sad, I like to <em>_<\/em> to make me feel better.\u201d (If you can\u2019t easily fill in the blank, then maybe you have some feelings work to do too! And that\u2019s okay!)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In Kathryn Kvols book, \u201cRedirecting Children\u2019s Behavior,\u201dshe addressed the difference between feeling stoppers and feeling encouragers. She goes on to say that \u201cfeelings forced underground can cause misbehavior.\u201d I agree. When I have to address a disagreement about a toy, it is usually less helpful for me to say something like this, \u201cWe don\u2019t cry [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[10,5,11],"class_list":["post-81","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parenting-advice","tag-families","tag-parenting","tag-relationships"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ldkparentingfoundation.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ldkparentingfoundation.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ldkparentingfoundation.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ldkparentingfoundation.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ldkparentingfoundation.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=81"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/ldkparentingfoundation.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":84,"href":"https:\/\/ldkparentingfoundation.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81\/revisions\/84"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ldkparentingfoundation.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=81"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ldkparentingfoundation.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=81"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ldkparentingfoundation.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=81"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}